The Ridiculously Effective Parenting Training

Introduction, Step One

You will develop the skills to raise children who are loved, loving and responsible.

Here are the course chapters so that you can make sure the program is right for you.

Do you want to be a real parent or control a behavior?
Parenting is lovingandteaching, which I will be modeling for you. I will stay with you while you learn how to be an effective parent. You won't be doing this alone.
How to implement “no whining” and how that relates to all behaviors.
The key to parenting is YOU being loving, and YOU being consistent. Real Love defined.
All unproductive behaviors come from the “I don’t love you” wound.
Whining is related to all the other behaviors.
Children continue behaviors only if they are rewarded for them.
How you can feel loved, be loving, responsible = happiness

You don’t know how to love your children unconditionally because you were not taught how.
Learning how to parent is the most important job in the world, and quite a journey. Let's get started.
The most powerful and lasting experiences of life are during early childhood. That applies to you, too.
Example of mother, Amanda, responding to two arguing children.
You’re missing the root source of all childhood problems.
You must interpret what children need from their behavior, not words—drowning metaphor.
The moment we’re irritated, children hear only “I don’t love you”
The “I don’t love you wound” causes all other problems, including Post-Childhood Stress Disorder
You can learn to love and help your children.
You can learn to make real choices instead of just reacting.

You have to find love before giving it, and we can’t love ourselves.
You were TAUGHT who you are and how the world is, and often it was wrong.
You were loved less when you didn’t behave in ways other people didn’t like.
You MUST find love, and learn how to receive it and love others unconditionally: (1) Original unlovable message was wrong; (2) remember times you have felt loved; (3) remember a divine love; (4) I love you; (5) find love from others.
Truth-seen-accepted-loved
Where do you find love? (1) Usually not present friends; (2) rarely family; (3) never children; (4) from others.
What are the usual reactions to truth telling? Confusion, argument, interest.
Examples of telling the truth about yourself to other people.
Many resources for finding love in RealLove.com and RealLoveParents.com
Getting & Protecting Behaviors
Example of stopping conflict with love
Three Primary Responsibilities of a Parent
Epigenetics

It is unavoidable that your children suffer as you parent without Real Love.
Your inability to parent with Real Love is NOT your fault.
But it is your responsibility to change what you do now with what you learn.
You can learn to understand the meaning of your children’s behavior, and as you see their pain, your impatience and anger transform into compassion.
Lack of love leads to pain, which demonstrates as emptiness and fear, and then follow all the Getting and Protecting Behaviors, which combine to explain all your children’s behaviors.
Children use Getting and Protecting Behaviors to find the Imitation Love that replaces Real Love. They MUST medicate their pain.
Whining and anger show the relationship between pain, Getting and Protecting Behaviors, and Imitation Love.
By finding Real Love, and changing the judgments in your life, you can eliminate the Getting and Protecting Behaviors that plague you and your children.

All childhood problems are rooted in pain, and then they respond predictably.
Cutting benefits: expresses pain physically, decreases confusion, distracts, feel alive, illusion power, attention, self-blame, anger, cry help
Relation of cutting to Getting & Protecting Behaviors, the power of understanding.
Lack of responsibility, withdrawal/depression (responsibility related to all 7).
Addictions to screens: phones, video games
No love ➝ Pain ➝ Decrease pain ➝ Addiction
Addictions to alcohol, drugs, porn
Adult children at home

You promised yourself to make your children happy, and yet you get angry at them.
Anger = “I don’t love you” and always hurts them.
Every time you’re angry, you’re wrong, so You Will Never Express Anger at a Child.
You get angry at your children because you expect them to love you, which they can’t.
No one ever makes you angry. It’s a choice you make and one you can learn not to make.
Five Ways to Respond to Anger
Examples of lovingandteaching your children without anger.

Loving and teaching is your JOB. It gives children the power to choose love and happiness, not react pain.
The primary goal of family is happiness, so all behaviors interfering with that must be eliminated.
You must stop all wounding with NO tolerance for anger, whining, teasing, lying, withdrawal.
Many examples of how to deal with wounding behaviors.
Practical examples of how to loveandteach a child. How to really listen.
Teaching children who they are, and how to choose the use of their gifts.
The effects of praise and criticism, positive feedback vs praise.
The use of consequences, bedtime.

Screen addiction: its utter devastation, and how we can respond to it in children.
Video games (same): harmful effects and how you can help your children.
The Age of Entitlement: how it happened, effects on everything else, and treatment.
ADHD. Over-diagnosis, characteristics are the same as response to pain; treatment without meds.
How to love your children—what it looks like.
Responsibility. Why your children lack it, and how to teach it.
Addictions to alcohol, drugs, porn, early sex, and how to loveandteach children.

The seduction of praise, and how it—and every other Imitation of love—fails us.
Examples of loving, teaching, and consequences.
How we give up on treating pain and just withdraw: depression, suicide, self-harming.
Positive consequences
Teaching your children how to be who they really are.
Learning to judge yourself and your children differently.
Joy