Loving Parents LIVE Index

Action:

            required in applying principles, 032, 033, 033

            taking quickly, 032, 033

Accountability:

            necessary in teaching children, 023, 025

Addiction:

            response to emotional pain, 031

            see Gaming, addiction to

            see Porn, addiction to

ADHD:

            doesn’t exist, 016

            medication, side effects of, 016

            over-diagnosis of, 016

            PCSD the real diagnosis, 016, 032

            Real Love the treatment for, 016

            symptoms same as those for emotional pain, 016, 030, 032

            treatment with medication usually wrong, 016

Adult children:

            responding to unacceptable behaviors in, 008

Agenda:

            everyone has, 024

            freeing effect on child of your not having one, 024

Anger:

            benefits of, 016

            choice, 026

            compassion for with understanding, 033

            decision to avoid, 013

            love eliminates, 013

            must be eliminated before loving children, 018

            proof that we’re not feeling loved, 013

            reaction to pain, 033

            responding to, 004, 006, 011, 033

            solution for, 011, 013

            successes with responding to, 007, 009

            teaching children about, 033

            telling truth about, parents, 026

            unfocused unacceptable, 011

            venting doesn’t work, 011

            why children use, 006

            why we use, 016

Apologies:

            mean little, why, 018

Arguing, see Fighting

Attention, children begging for, 030

Attitude, negative:

            expression of feeds the attitude, 015

            grows if we don’t pay attention, 015

Behaviors, “bad” or unproductive in children:

            all modified by understanding loved, loving, responsible, 003, 032

            all related to not feeling loved, loving, responsible, 003, 004

            can’t just stop by command, 002, 003

            cause more wounds in ourselves, 011, 015

            caused by pain, 032

            don’t make child bad, 023

            goal not to stop only behaviors, 009

            lovingandteaching solution to, 003, 004

            not helpful simply to say stop, 003

            not the real problem, 010, 032

            repeated only because there is a reward for them, 022

            require children to describe their own, 005, 010,

            responding to consistently, 009, 022, 032

            silence unacceptable, 009, 022

            solution to found in Loved-loving-responsible, 003, 022

            stopping by lovingandteaching, 003, 004, 009, 022, 032

            stopping not primary goal, 009

            “Sudden” always preceded by signs we missed, 015, 032

            talking about in family meetings, 022, 023

            teach children how they lead to unhappiness, 003, 022

Biting nails, response to emotional pain, 016

Biting clothing:

            responding to, 015

            response to emotional pain, 015, 016

Cave, deep, keep going, 012

Change:

            difficult in the beginning, 024

            dramatic and fast possible with loving, 024

            examples, 024

            forcing doesn’t work, 024

Changing subject:

            common, 027

            examples, 027

            responding to, 027

Children:

            different in same household, 009

            feel how we treat them, 005

            happy, how they respond to situations, 014, 034

learn better when THEY express a principle they learned, 015

            perceptive about how we treat them, 005

            quiet, helping, 035

            raised with Real Love from beginning, examples, 034

            understand Real Love far better than we think, 005

Choice:

            give children when possible, 022

            increases with Real Love, examples, 028, 029, 032

            none without Real Love, 028, 029, 032

Clean room:

            how to teach, 005

Cognitive dissonance, motivation of, 002, 003

Competence, improved with Real Love, 027

Communication:

            mistakes in, 034

            teaching children how to, 031, 034, 035

Confidence:

            earned, 031

            how to develop in children, 015

            learned through responsibility, 031

Connecting with people, what to say, 013

Consequences:

            different for responsible children, 026

            examples of, 005, 015, 018

            increasing with resistance, 005

            purpose of, 005, 015, 018

            young age, 015

Consistency:

            essential in observing small attitudes and behaviors in children, 015

            in child, deserves different treatment, 026

Controlling, parents toward children:

            anger used to, 016

            avoiding, allows children to make wiser choices, 031

            harmful to children, 016, 030

Coronavirus:

            explaining to children 002

            half measures useless, 006, 007

            kills like small attitudes in children, 015

            responding to slowly, severe consequences, 006, 015

            spreading because of selfishness, 020

Curse of Knowledge, 007

Dam, leak in, metaphor of, 033

Demands:

            examples of, 008

            learned, 008

            responding to, 008

Different, children are in same family, why, 008

Divorce:

            not primarily cause of trauma for child, 030

Doing things, becomes substitute for knowing who we are, 003

Doubt, children feel for our initial changes, 025

Down Syndrome, 012

Drugs:

            children exposed to in utero, 022

Electronics:

            become a home schooling for life for our children, 003, 028

            explosion like coronavirus, 006

Guidelines for, 003

            half measures useless, 006, 028

            parents give away their role to, 028

            privacy none, 028, 032

            restrictions for, 003, 028

            teacher in are unknown, teaching unknown subjects to children, 003, 028

            virus in our children’s lives, 028

Events:

            alone don’t cause lasting pain if child feels loved, 011

            provoke pain primarily on top of lifelong pre-existing pain, 011

Example, teaching by, 003

Familiar, hasn’t worked, so why repeat, 009

Family meetings:

            examples, 008, 010

            necessary, 011

            responding to resistance toward, 011

            resistance to, 010, 011

            save discussions until, 010

            successes, 010

            talking about Getting and Protecting Behaviors in, 022

Fearless:

            children naturally, 007

            children lose, how, 007

Feelings:

            choose only when feel loved, 032

            helping children express, 035

Fighting:

            eliminated with truth and love, 028

Finger, child giving to parent, 033

“Functional families,” see “Happy family”

Gaming, addiction:

            responding to, 033

Getting and Protecting Behaviors:

            defined, 022

            talking about, 022

            talking about in family meetings, 022, 023

Giving:

            dangers of compared to lovingandteaching, 008

            in to demands, 008

Glass, broken, 035

God, why people have a hard time with, 003

Gratitude:

            teaching, examples, 026

Half-measures, useless, 006, 007, 008, 033

Happiness:

            choice, teaching, 026

            easier to find than all the behaviors to defend and protect, 005

            three-legged stool of, 003

“Happy family”:

            claims of proven false by children acting out, 031

            claims of rarely true, 031

Heroes, parents, 001

Hitting,, responding to, 001

Hope, of love, crushed, 011

“I love you”:

            how child can respond to from adult, 029

            from adult, inappropriate for child to respond with same, 029

Ignorance, test of, 017

Imitation Love:

            children learn to trade early, 008

Immediate, response to behavior must be, 032

Interrupting, responding to, 004, 014

Keep doing:

            children with unproductive behaviors only if not taught, 028

Keep going, 012, 025

Knowledge, Curse of, 007

Leak in dam, metaphor of, 033

Learning:

            best if CHILDREN tell truth about themselves or principle, 015

            difficult in the beginning, 024

            impossible while in pain, 032, 033

            pain makes impossible, 032, 033

Listening:

            accountability for, 025

            early, 020, 032, 033, 034

            examples of, 009, 032, 034

            making it happen between children, 025

            most important part of loving, 019, 020, 032

            not, admitting, 019, 034

            not, consequences of, 033

            not, examples of, 019, 032, 033, 034

            to behavior, not just words, 020, 032, 032, 033

Loneliness, how to eliminate, 013

Love beam, 008

Love and teach:

            always what we do, 009, 020, 023

            effect of, 030

            examples of, 003, 004, 020, 023, 030

            in positive situations, 026

            instead of focusing on what’s wrong, 004, 009, 023

Loved-loving-responsible:

            always the real goal, not accomplishment of specific task, 001, 005

            how to teach, 002, 003, 005

            teaching these solves all other behaviors, 003

Loving Parents Live:

            source of community, not just weekday video answers, 003

Lying:

            test for, 017

Magic:

            seduction of, 009

            vs miracles, 009

Manipulation, children of adults:

            examples, 017, 021

            responding to, 017

Marbles, four, 003

Marijuana:

            dangers of, 030, 031

            responding to use in a child, 030, 031, 032

Media:

            portrays parents badly, 010

            watch with children and teach from, 010

Meaning, sense of:

            decreases pain and fear of inconveniences, 003

            needed for perspective, 003

Mistakes:

            don’t make us bad, 004

            old, don’t keep paying for, 017

            repeating, 034

            responding to, 035

Misunderstanding:

            clearing up between parent and child, 034

            clearing up between siblings, 034

Motivations, test of, 017

Nagging, how to avoid, 015, 022

Narcissism:

            effect on children, 024

            in partner, how to teach children, 012, 024

            responding to, 012, 024

            using to teach children truth, 012

“No,” saying only when it matters, 029

Non-parent, sometimes love has to come from for child, 032

One, parent doing Real Love in partnership, 018

Pain:

            explains people’s “bad” behaviors, 011

            experience and heal, don’t just vent, 011

            healed by talking about while being loved, 011

            lifelong much more important than pain from single events, 011

Parenting:

            bad more difficult than good, 022

            diligence required, 010

            effective easier than bad, 022

            like putting together puzzle pieces, 009

            solutions involve all the principles of Real Love together, 013

            study required, 010

            teaching in world does not include love, 014

Parenting training, see Ridiculously Effective Parenting Training:

Parents:

Accountable when children point out bad behaviors, 004

            children see truth about as they learn more, 007

            heroes, 001, 022

            love discounted if seen as weak, 030

            media portrays negatively, 010

            only one doing Real Love in partnership, 018

            our job as, 003

            say, “I’ll do anything for children” but won’t, 030

            truth telling to children, 004

            world determined by, 001

Partners:

            only one doing Real Love, 018, 033

            only one doing Real Love enough, 033

Persistence, benefits of, 012, 013, 025

Pessimism, responding to, 027

Petrov, Stanislav, 001

Phone, see Electronics

Porn, addiction:

            responding to, 033

Positive feedback:

            examples of, 026

            teaching with, 026

Praise:

            alternative to, 023

            connection preferable to, 023

            dangers of, 007

            examples of, 007

Pressuring:

            examples from parents to children, 024

            subtle sometimes, 024

Privacy:

            children have no right to, 003, 032

            guidelines for, 003

            none with electronics, 032

Proactive love, power of, 033

Promises, mean little compared to observing past behavior, 021

Puzzle:

            parenting like putting together, 009

Quarantine, effects of, 003

Reactions:

            all we can do without Real Love, 029

            reflexive without Real Love, 028

            replaced by choices with Real Love, 028

Real Love:

            children remembering, 035

            eliminates Getting and Protecting Behaviors, 028,032

            eliminates unloving behaviors, 028, 032

            finding, 011, 013,

            finding, examples, 014, 032

            improves competence, 027

            lack of the primary wound in children, 029

            not “soft,” 008

            power of, examples, 032

            sometimes has to come from non-parent, 032

Repetition, see Keep doing

Responsibility:

            allowing children to make choices in learning, 031, 031

            child with deserves flexibility, 026

            easier than all the fussing to avoid it, 005

            teaches confidence, 031

            teaching, examples, 017, 031

Revolution:

            begins with willingness to see truth, 034

            parenting, 034

Ridiculously Effective Parenting Training:

            cost of, 018, 030

            cost of not doing, 018, 030

            how to get, 031

            worth of, 018, 030

Risk, teaches children to choose

Rudeness, addressing between children, 031

Rules:

            best if child participates in forming, if possible, 021

Sadness:

            responding to, 009

            turns into complaining, 009

School:

            failing, why, 030, 033

            pain makes success impossible in, 033

School of life:

            examples, 024, 031

Self-worth:

            helping children achieve, 035

Selfishness:

            children see in parents with practice, 007

            effects of, 020

            examples, 007

            test of, 017

Shackleton, Ernest, 022

Shame:

            not appropriate when we didn’t know better, 029, 035

            responding to, 035

Signs, of pain:

            pay attention to early, 034, 035

Silence:

            implies consent of other person’s behavior

Small things:

            become much more serious, 015, 017

            must address, or they grow like virus, 015

Sobriety:

            definition of real, 033

            not about abstinence, 033

Social behavior, follows learning loved-loving-responsible, 001

Social distancing:

            see Loneliness

Solitude:

            see Loneliness

Speaker, defined, 027

Store owner and wrong change, story of, 017

Stress:

            responding to in children, 004

Stupidity, repeating, 034

Suggestions, from Greg not attempt to control, 014

Successes:

            examples, 024, 032, 032, 034

Tantrums:

            See Anger

            See Demands

            See Violence

Teaching:

            best if CHILDREN tell truth about themselves or principle, 015, 022

            Curse of Knowledge and, 007

            possible only after loving, 020

Teasing:

            addressing between children, 031

            example of teaching about, 002, 020, 031

            stop, 020

            teaching about, 020

Techniques, don’t work without love, 014, 030

Therapy, effects of, 030

Tics, nervous, cause of, 015

Training:

            tends to determine how we feel and behave, 029

Trauma:

            greatest from simple lack of love in child, 029, 030

            to children, different kinds, 030

            visible rarely cause of children’s wounds, 029, 030

Tree, rot, identifying like seeing signs in children, 035

Truth:

            inconvenient, 009, 019

            scares us, 009

            worthless without commitment to application, 019

Truth telling:

            child to parent, best if CHILDREN tell truth about themselves or principle, 015, 022, 023

            child to parent, must include truth about behavior and solution, 017

            child to parent, possiblle only after loving, 020

            essential for growth, 025

            helpling children to, 035

            to child, about partner, 007

            to child, about your own mistakes in loving, 012

            to others, what to say, 013

Understanding:

            examples of, 034

            power of, 034

Venting, feelings, not effective, 012

Victimhood:

            common, 017

            grows, 017

            sneaky, 017

Victims:

            defend and attack always, 017

            gather allies, 017

            never wrong, 017

            seek out other victims, 011

Violence:

            responding to, 001, 004, 006

            successes with responding to, 008

            why, 006

Wall Street collapse, compared to parents ignoring signs, 034

Whiners, seek out other whiners, 011

Whining:

            responding to, 017

            success, example, 017

Who we are:

            can’t know until feel loved, 032

            children need to embrace, 035

            knowing harder when distracted by doing things, 003

            not our mistakes, 035

            what is left when pain and fear gone, 032

Work before play, 004

World, condition determined by parents, 001

Worth of child:

            enough for parent to genuinely change?, 016

Worthless:

            how that happens in child, 030

Wrong:

            easy to focus on, 004

            focus on path instead of, 004

“Yes,” saying as often as possible, 029

Zero tolerance:

            accountability in, 025

            consistency with, 002, 025

            creates atmosphere where learning to be happy is possible, 003

            examples of teaching, 002, 005, 010, 025

            for behaviors without discussing them, 002

            for five behaviors or attitudes, 002, 005

            not same as happiness, 003

            reason for, 011

>